Being Okay with not being okay!

I am a classic optimist, a hopeful, perhaps even whimsical person, which makes it fun to be with and around me! But people cannot always be happy, that's neither realistic nor authentic, for whatever reason I never found it safe to share the harder, deeper struggles of my life with others...so I didn't. People tried to get inside the more authentic me, but I was guarded and most likely out of touch with my inner self, probably because I didn't want to find something I didn't like. However one of the great "gifts" of my life has been personal tragedy, in my case it was divorce. I hate being divorced, everything associated with it for myself, my children, family and friends!!! I didn't want to be divorced (no one truly does) but some great gifts have come and because my private life was played out to many in public because I was a Pastor. The old saying that you can run but you can't hide is so true, the long and short of it is this; a 2 week counseling session 1,000 miles from home with a gifted and tender Christian counselor revealed the following;

"Kevin,you are not okay, everyone around you who loves you knows that you are not okay, so until you are okay with not being okay, you will not be okay."

What a gift, and what a revelation, but what a struggle this has been for me. As this Christmas comes and all that comes with it (gift giving, lots of miscellaneous cash spending) I find I am not so okay with not being okay. For the last couple years I have been out of full time ministry and financially it was much better paying and providing for than my current job in the Optical field. I am grateful for my job, I work with some wonderful people and I am good at my job, but financially it does not provide like I, my adult children and friends are used to. They may be okay with this, but I am not! So this Christmas I am re-visiting the truth that I need to be okay with not being okay. I always want to improve and do my best but I also need to be authentic and honest with myself and others. I am in process, God is chiseling me, re-shaping me, refining me through trial to be more like His Son Jesus. And that's not only okay, it's GREAT! Merry Christmas to all!

The Dreaded Recall

Have you ever recieved a phone call, letter or postcard informing you that something you own has been found defective and or dangerous and you need to take it somewhere to be repaired, or send the product back to recieve a replacement? It's called a recall and it's a huge drag for the company and the owner! I researched statistics regarding recalled products, cars, car parts, clothes, machines, you name it. Because the company cannot gurantee the product will perform as it should and in order to avoid huge lawsuits they have to expend unbelievable amounts of money to give true customer satisfaction. I am talking hundreds of billions of dollars! Recently I took care from start to finish a recalled Starbucks Coffee Grinder. After stopping at a couple stores I was given an 800 number to contact and I would be given further instructions. Well, this recall was so big that it required a special hotline just for this specific grinder. Starbucks had to hire people just to take care of this, and it all could been avoided had the grinder been made right the first time. I had to give them my e-mail address so they could send me a UPS printing label so I could spend my own money to ship the grinder back to Starbucks. With-in 6-8 weeks they promised they would send a new one. They did!
This somehow got me to think about God and His promises, they have never been re-called! The Bible is FULL of promises from God to His people and He has never broken one!!! Not one in all of humanity, and that is incredible! I have broken promises, and so have you, but God never does. And yet it can be so easy to trust in things (even quality companies/products), or in other people who have proved to be faithful and trustworthy, but they too will let us down. May I encourage you and remind myself at the same time that though His timing is not our timing, and His ways are higher than ours, He is totally and un-equivically trustworthy. No recalls from God and I promise!!!

Physcial vs. Inner Pain

I am one of those guys who thinks he knows how to handle pain, though I am small in stature, I can say I am pretty adept at blocking out pain in order to achieve a goal. Sports are a great way to learn pain blocking/management and wrestling is a pretty good test compared to other sports. I started wrestling in 4th grade in gym class and then it turned into intramurals and then traveling teams, all the way to District, Regional and National tournaments. I had the chance to compete in college and on our team every guy was extremely good in high school, which meant talk was cheap and there was no place to hide. We had National Champions and plenty of All Americans, I was not one of them! When times got tough some guys feigned injury in order to get a break from the intense workouts. Ocassionally I did, I am not proud of it.
There is physical pain and then the other kind (emotional/mental/spiritual), we all have endurance levels, tolerances we can hit and some we just can't get past. I am not sure what my levels are but to this point I have not wilted/quit yet! There sure have been plenty of tests, especially lately! Last night and today I hit the wall. I was angry, sad and disappointed and honestly wasn't well inside. I wasn't going to hide my pain, so with a trusted friend I shared my pain. He knew I wasn't myself and I appreciate that he lived out "weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice." Romans 12:15.
This too shall pass, but one thing I have learned and continue to do is show up and be authentic rather than mask or stuff. I was a great stuffer, and again not something I am proud of! I know I have to "get it together" and want to, but last night and today was just one of those days I would have rather dealt with phyiscal pain than the emotional/spiritual kind. I know how to do the first much better than the second. But I am getting better at the second! Progress not perfection. I want to leave you with a couple thoughts when it comes to dealing with any kind of pain.

1. Isolation is NEVER good, don't leave yourself alone - show up with a trusted friend. Perspective is one of the least expensive tools you have and it's always one of the richest if the person; Knows you well, loves you much and is willing to speak the truth in love to you. Proverbs says "wise people seek the counsel of many", it's where we get the saying two heads are better than one.

2. Be real, be honest and be really honest!

3. Don't let too much time lapse before working toward any kind of resolution or you will leave a small opening for the enemy to get in your mind/heart! Do not make agreements with yourself in your weak moments!

I will get through the pain, (the options are not good otherwise) but I will be authentic enough to share my pain! If all we ever do is share our victories with others, most will feel like failures. Most of life is made up of setbacks but most of what we tell others our only of our victories. Not a good thing! Thanks for reading!

Extravagant Love

Most of us settle, admit it! Either because we are lulled to sleep by the drone of one day following the next, or often we live with regret over what we didn't do more than because we did too much. Woulda, coulda, shoulda! "it costs too much, I can't afford that..." But every once in awhile we hear about someone doing something meriting the word extravagant. Some philanthropist who gives an anonymous gift to an organization or individual that is might be considered extravagant, or when someone gives a gift that is well beyond what might be considered normal. I love it even better when I am either on the giving or recieving end. A friend of mine struggled with a rather extravagant purchase for themself, in fact they debated so much over the purchase that they went to the store on successive days looking at it, debating it but having the hardest time justifying it.

This afternoon I tagged along and did tried to be a support! The item was purchased and the joy on their face was remarkable, not a selfish "mine, mine, mine" look, but more like life is too short not do something just a little over the top! It was so fun I even took a picture! They didn't buy the gift to flaunt it in front of others and be noticed, it was just something that was good for the soul.

Switching gears, I want to point out some events in the Bible that show God's extravagant love for us. There are far too many for this blog, but how about when the prostitute pours an extravagant bottle of perfume over Jesus' and the disciples rebuke her saying they could have sold the bottle and used the money towards helping destitute people. I love it that Jesus didn't get mad at her! She was worshipping Jesus extravagantly! Or the Father of the prodigal son upon his son's return, has their best cow slaughtered, a robe placed on him and he throws a big party instead of giving him his just desserts.

I write this because today or this week maybe you and I ought to do something extravagant, something that may raise some eyebrows but really make a memory. Like forgiving someone who in your mind just doesn't deserve it. Or instead of casting a judgemental eye on that homeless person you pass everyday, and we come up with our list of reasons we shouldn't, maybe we could take them out for a nice meal, instead of handing out small change. God was extravagant with His love, grace and forgiveness to all who ask for it, Jesus is our example and He died for us even though we put Him there. May we figure out creative ways to be extravagant! Life is short! Be extravagant!

Burnin' Calories and Other Things!

I admit it, I have never ever counted a calorie in my life. This is not a boastful thing, rather I have always used different methods of knowing whether I was needing to burn some calories/fat or not. This is a bit of a anomaly since I spent years 9-20 weighing myself countless times a day as a wrestler, first in Elementary School, onto Jr. High, then High School and then finishing my career in College. I had to watch what I ate, how much I ate and unfortunately found some creative and not so healthy ways to lose weight.

I share this because this past month I have increased my workouts and added variety to them. I have been an avid runner since the early 70's (no jokes please), and I lift weights (a bit), bike and LOVE anything outdoors. This past month I have ridden my bike a lot more than I ever have, and I am swimming in the ocean at least 3 times a week. I AM BURNING CALORIES AND FAT! I am not sure how much but I am sure it's a lot.

This week I had the honor of writing our church's IMAX Guide (a Bible study supplement to the weekend sermon) at www.gochristfellowship.com. In the sermon and in the Bible verses there was a clear call to holiness. Many times we are commanded to confess and turn away from anything that is not fully pleasing to God but do we? Or do we give in and let the the not so God glorifying things seep in? Both the sermon and the guide made it obvious is that the Holy Fire of God will burn away anything that is not glorifying to Him, all followers of Him need to be active and serious about this, not at all comfortable! I had grown comfortable! I think many of us do!

Psalm 32 and 51 speak clearly about what happens when sin (things in our lives that do not glorify God) goes un-checked. We grow hard in our hearts, we become callous and we begin moving further away from God and His people! Of course there are other consequences like increased stress, decreased laughter and joy, lying and deception happen more often, and we are vulnerable to the destructive consequences that will damage our lives and possibly those near us. In the message version in Psalm 139 it says;

"Investigate my life O God, find out everything about me. Cross examine and test me and get a clear picture of what I'm about; see for yourself whether I've done anything wrong- then guide me on the the road to eternal life."

I have come a long way in being more like the follower of God I was created to be, I also know upon authentic inspection I have more to go. In Hebrews 12:29 we are told that God is a consuming fire! He will burn off what is in our lives that will not last and is not Holy! I don't care nearly as much about burning calories and fat as I want to have my flaws and un-Godly ways burned off so that all you see is Him and Him glorified. God wants us to be a Holy people! Let's burn some!

Your Heart is Good!

I am about to turn 51 and I made a promise to myself and a friend that I would get a physical. So a couple weeks ago I got one. I was not too worried as I am in good shape, I exercise consistently, eat pretty well, don't smoke...you know healthy habits. But as a person gets older what lies beneath is what you must know about in order to remain healthy. Preventative medicine. In the midst of my physical my Dr. was alarmed to see a blockage in my heart and odered an echocardiogram. He also ran some other tests. Today I met with him to go over the results. I was curious of course to find out if my heart was good or not. While I was sitting there I hear God say very clearly to me these words. "Kevin, your heart is very good!" I knew what He was speaking of was not my phsical heart that pumps my blood and keeps me alive. He was speaking tenderly to me about my soul/heart. It was so good to hear Him communicate this truth to me! Though I believe I have a good heart, it's good to hear it said from my Abba/Papa! And I want to say to you... Your heart is good!

Here are a few verses regarding the heart.

I Chronicles 28:9 - God searches every heart..
Psalm 86:11 - give me an un-divided heart.
Psalm 139:23 - search me O God and know my heart...
Proverbs 13:12 - hope deferred makes the heart grow sick
Proverbs 15:20 - a cheerful heart is good medicine
Jeremiah 17:9 - the heart is deceitful above all things
Luke 6:45 - out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks
Proverbs 4:23 - above everything guard your heart!

I know this, since I have given my life and heart over to God, He has replaced the evil in my heart and filled it with His good. I have seen my deceitful, selfish and very capable of evil heart transformed with a pure and passionate desire to KNOW God and make Him KNOWN. He has set my heart free, God is the true lover of my heart!

A simple heart check up requires each of us to search our hearts. Are we desiring Godly things, good things that bring Him glory or glory only for ourselves? Do we want to love others, especially those not so easy to love? Do we want the best for others? Do you hate what is evil and cling to what is good? Do we have compassion for the poor, the wounded, widowed and orphan? I know I have a ways to go to have an even healthier heart, but it was both good to hear my Dr. and my God say to me - "Your heart is good Kevin"!

Abba, Papa, Daddy!

When I became a Father back in 1987 I was so excited! And ignorant! I had a nice but not so close relationship with my Dad back then and I knew I wanted more with my kids. I loved being a Dad, having responsibility, enjoying and watching my daughter develop and change daily, weekly, monthly.... When my second daughter came in 1989 I was afraid there was not going to be enough love in my heart to go out to her since I loved my first daughter so much. Of course love became exponential so not to worry! I loved every part of being a Dad of 2 girls, teaching them so many things and enjoying them. All of our tag team wrestling matches on the basement carpet, giving them "dreamers" at night to go to sleep to, and the many inventful and creative things we did then that showed them how much I delighted in them. As they got older I did my best to teach them responsibility and interdependence! Today they are 21 and almost 20, doing great in college and being so responsible! When they were young they had to ask for things because they were not always capable nor did they have the resources. They didn't build their relationship with me simply asking for things all of the time, they also enjoyed having a Dad and Mom who played with them, read them stories, took them on trips and all the things parents and children do to delight in each other.

In Psalm 37:4 we are told to "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Too often I find I am asking "Daddy" for things much more than I am delighting in Him and that is a terrible way to form and maintain a healthy relationship. If all my kids ever did was ask, ask, ask and ask some more I don't think our relationship would be very good. I need to get back to truly delighting in being a Dad and they being my daughters, and I need to really get back to truly delighting in God. I do not want to base my realtionship and conversations with Him around always asking, pleading, praying.

When I was in college and new to the faith I remember a girl at school (Annie) who used to open her prayers something like this... " Dearest Abba, Papa Daddy". It was so informal, and sounded very much like she was intimate with and delighting in her relationship with God. It was new to me but I wanted that for myself. May I, and may we learn to delight in God and not spend so much of our relationship always asking, pleading and praying to Him about the desires of our hearts, instead may our relationship with Him become the deepest desire of our hearts!

Simplicity

Last week I had the opportunity of helping a new believer learn the simple basic truths about being a follower of God. It was so refreshing because it brought me back to the simplicity of it all. Then this past Sunday I taught twice, first in the morning at Christ Felllowship in a Life Study called "Identity in Christ", the other was at a Faith Holy Temple Church. Let's just say I was the only brother of the other color! Both were just way cool! Because God was obviously there and I am so glad I got to be a part of what was simple. The truth and pure worship.
There is much to take in when it comes to God's word, but when it all comes down to it we know that God created us for relationship. In order for it to be perfect love God would not MAKE us love Him, He gave us choice! John 3:16 is simple - (Kevin's interpretation here)

"But God so loved the world that He GAVE His one and only Son that whoever believes that God loves us that much, and accepts the free gift of forgiveness through Jesus Christ will not end up seperated from God for eternity but instead will have full intimate relationship in perfected bodies, with no tears, pain with new bodies without suffering but instead passionate worship and extragantly wonderful relationship with Him and everyone who chose God while here on earth!

In the Identity in Christ study on Sunday it came down to this, who we are gets completely changed when we choose relationship with God and begin seeing ourselves as God does. We are so valuable! Do you know who you are? I am not my job, that is what I do but I am, and forever will be a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! I am not my own, God paid the price and redeemed me, bought me with an expensive price (His Son). I must be valuable if God was willing and wanting to do that. And He wants EVERYONE to experience this truth as well.

Onto the Sunday night service at the Faith Holy Temple Church. I love that people can worship God in so many different ways! No way is the right way except that we worship Him in Spirit and truth. My church is huge (25,000), the church I preached in had 50 people. There was no light director, no sound checks,instead children became the spontaneous choir, singing and shouting to and for the God of the Universe! There was no production (well the kids did sway back and forth in a way I would only look foolish doing, they prayed, took an offering and greeted one another with sincere hearts and then I preached out of II Peter 1.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and Godliness through our knowledge of Him."

What a God! God's love and plan for us is simple! It's not 25 things you must do...it's "love God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind and love your neighbor as you want to be loved by others." Simple isn't it?

What Fragrance Are You?

We all have a scent, our own smell if you will. When I think of my Grandfather I always think of his pipe smell and the aroma of fresh baked bread, he loved to bake bread. I used to visit my cousins in Indiana who lived on a farm, and those smells were very pungent at first, but they grew on me to the point I barely noticed them later!

In II Corinthians 2:14-16 the Apostle Paul tells us we are the fragrance of Christ. Everywhere we go we are an aroma of God, to God, and to those who have a saving relationship with Him. Even to those who are not yet rightly connected to Him. Paul goes on to say that to others we are like the stench of someone dead and decaying (think dead animal). To others we are like the smell of life (think Spring when grass and flowers and trees are blooming).

Most adults have a favorite fragrance we spray on to smell good. Most of us can tell the difference between something very expensive and something pretty cheap. Then there are the older people who like take a shower in it and you can smell 'em a mile away....ha ha. In any case we all leave behind a scent, but what kind? For me in every situation with every person I want to leave the life giving aroma of God's love and grace, His forgiveness and mercy to all who I am exposed to. I can only do that by consistently being in His presence, "eating" His words, chewing on them and desiring them to become a part of me. I need to be filled with Him so much that He overflows, He comes out of my pores and leaves an aroma. We are commanded to make the most of every opportunity we have with everyone. How about you? What fragrance do you leave behind as your scent?

As I close I want to share a recent tragic story. I worked with a guy named Pat, his formal name was Pastor. As far as I could tell through lots of time spent with him working and hanging out, Pat was not a friend of God, he was full of life, generous as all get out, and a family man for sure. But Pat had a lifestyle that was not altogether one lived to please God. I went out with him less than 2 weeks ago and have always tried to be a God aroma if you will. Last Monday I got a call that Pat died in a 1 car accident, he was driving fast, turned too sharp, flipped his car and was ejected. He died! Besides the shock and sadness of the void he leaves for his wife, daughter, family and friends is the distinct possibility he may not be spending eternity in paradise! You and I never know if this day will be our last, or the last of those we love, but we must, I must live intentionally to be a fragrant aroma, not a stench of judgemental, narrow minded, graceless and self-righteous know it alls, but full of grace and peace and love and truth!

Florida Rains and Nourishment for Dead Souls!

This winter has been brutally dry in South Florida, true the ocean is right here, but almost all the grass and many trees are brown and barely alive. But the last two days or so we have had those South Florida rains, not a sprinkle here or there but lots of rain. Inches at a time. You can nearly watch the grass and trees come to life it's an amazing transformation.
Our souls can be like this. We can walk through the motions and as John Ortberg says;

"Soul dissatisfaction cannot go long without leading us into sin. We have an inner soul court and an outer soul court. The outer court is what the public sees and many can be invited into, but the inner court is the "holy of holies" that God sees, and what He sees cannot be staged, there are no shortcuts. Authenticity of a lack of it will be found out. The soul is either satisified or it is not, but it must be."
If you are dry spiritually, admit it and immediately turn for God's refreshment of love, grace and mercy to shower on you. Romans 8:1 "there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." James says "draw near to God and He will draw near to you." God wants you and I to be alive and refreshed, it takes discipline for sure, but mostly it takes the reality of just how much He loves us! He loves us! You need to identify the reasons you got dry in the first place and then seek wisdom and develop an action plan on how to get out and stay out. A book I suggest you devour is written by John Eldredge titled "Waking the Dead", check it out! The Holy Spirit wants to move in and reign in our lives!

It's God's kindness that leads us to repentenance."

How Far is the East from the West?

Look at the picture of our planet, and as you do I want you to look at the point most east. If you could travel east and move your way to the backside you would still be traveling east. If your starting point were N.Y. and you traveled east and made it around the globe and arrived back in N.Y. you would have ALWAYS traveled east. In other words East and West NEVER meet! North and South do. Case in point if you traveled from the South Pole to the North Pole you would be heading North, once you reached the North Pole and wanted to head to the South Pole you would have to travel South, South and North meet, but East and West NEVER do! In Psalm 103:12 the Bible says this;

"AS far as the east is from the west so have I removed your sin, and I see it no more."

We all do stupid things, things we never intended to happen, things we cannot undo, things we regret, maybe even deeply. Some of those things we can hide and many we cannot. Being found out is the worst isn't it? When you are found out people can judge, be critical, gossip, stupid stuff can disqualify us from things down the road we really want to do but won't be able due to rules, agreements or standards. When we hear of famous people who get found out of their stupid stuff we cringe, go cynical, judgemental or any number of places. But when it happens to you/me well all of sudden we hope to be treated/looked at differently. Aren't you glad that God in His amazing grace, mercy and forgiveness not only removes our sin but He can't even see it any longer? Wow! When we hear of others who get "found out" let's remember God's grace, mercy and forgiveness extend to everyone who call on Christ to be saved! Thank God!

Oh How the Days Go By!

Here we are well into 2009, time does seem to fly! Some of us made goals and some are keeping them, others of you well....you know! The older I get the faster time goes. I checked into why it seems that way even though I have the same amount of seconds, minutes and hours as I always have is because I have more experiences to have filled my mind which requires me to store images, ideas, thoughts, things to do, things I have not done and so on... It's a time capacity thing. So the older I get the more I reflect on the significance of my life. I want my life to have mattered and so do you but time just seems to race by and our days blur and if we are not carful we have not managed our time/life it has managed us! In a scene from the movie "Saving Private Ryan, the elder Ryan is standing near the tombstone of the Captain who saved his life but lost his in the process and he told Ryan to "make it count". The elder Ryan then asks his wife if his life made a difference, "yes of course it did" she responds.

So, if times does seem to go by and our days and weeks and even months seem like a blur how do we KNOW our lives matter? We all want to be about significance, something not just about ourselves as good as that might be, but beyond ourselves.

Let's begin with the relationships we have. God, so many times we wish/hope to live our relationship with God more out of aliveness rather than religiousity. But so many times we attempt this by our own strength, knowledge and wisdom and we KNOW that is never enough! "not by might, not by power, but by the Spirit says the Lord". Then then is our family, friends and co-workers. Have we help make their lives better than if we had not been allive at all? How do we know? There are our gifts, things we are good at. Did those make a difference? Can you even list the things you really excel at?

We are responsible for our lives and stewards of our time. We all choose how productive/un-productive we will be and God will hold us responsible. So many of us come home from work and "treat ourselves" to the tv in order to un-wind, and the next thing you know we have fallen asleep on the couch and it's well passed bedtime and we saunter into bed to sleep for a few hours and wished we hadn't wasted the night when we promised ourselves time to write that e-mail, make that phone call, spend quality time with our spouse/children or hang out with that friend who is suffering, read our Bible etc...

In one of my favorite movies "It's a Wonderful Life" George Bailey thought his life such a waste since it did not turn out the way HE wanted it too. But He got to see how much of a difference he actually made and in the end he celebrated! We can all stop right now and decide to truly turn to the Holy Spirit to empower us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds and make the most of the days we have. To quote one of my favorite Bible verses, John 10:10; "The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." Steal kill, destroy, think about that in lieu of your time, days, weeks, months and years. As a matter of fact, this could be our last day so we better get at it now! How about turning to God, surrendering and seeking Him for a new day/future.

Helping People See

For over 25 years I have had the honor of helping people see, in the context of spiritual matters that is. I believe God gifted me, called me and there is fruit that is long term to confirm this. Thank You for your GRACE and MERCY God! I love and am passionate about teaching God's word and His precepts into something that is transformational in people's lives, whether it be in front of a crowd of thousands, or in a coffee shop with one! It makes my heart come alive!!!

Over the last couple years due to life's twists and turns, what I thought was God's clear will and through disappointments that have nearly killed my heart I have not been consistently able to do this.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick." Prov. 13:12

The last 2 plus years I have worked for an Optical Company literally helping people see. Filling prescriptions, making repairs and adjustments that improve their sight. Watching them put contacts or glasses on for the first time, or with a new RX, and then watching the smile on their face as they see clearly when minutes ago life was blurry is quite cool. BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME THING!

I am so seeking God for a place to serve Him again and my heart gets sick every once in awhile due to hope being deferred. One of the verses I have clinged to during these last 2 years is Romans 15:13

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Only you know the things you hope for, it may be a person, a better marriage, a new job, a new house, more money, less worry....but in the end, you and I must place our hearts desires in the tender hands of the God of all Hope and Peace so that we can experience true joy to overflow that comes from the Holy Spirit...

Soul Care 301

This will be brief but I believe Life Impacting, as was my intention with the other posts on Soul Care.

What makes your heart/soul come alive?

Yes, think about that for a minute. Make a list of the activities and people who make your heart/soul come alive, who have or could cause your life to leap out of the mundane of your day.

St. Ireneous is quoted as saying "The Glory of God is man fully alive."

I resonate with this but at times struggle with it. So make a list of all the activities and people who have done this or would. On a very consistent basis do these, spend time with them. YOU MUST!

John 10:10 says "the thief comes to rob, kill and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it to the full." Do you ever see Jesus as bored? Our enemies attempt everyday to rob of us life, kill our desire, steal our joy and destroy our sense or real purpose in this world. But we all have a very important role to live it out, we do. But we can slip into the mundane check out line without a thought until one day we wake up and ask "what happended to the life I desired?"

You don't have to live like this anymore! Do those activities and spend time with those people who cause your soul to stir and come alive. Your life depends on it! You know it and so do I!

Soul Care 201

Hurry Sickness! It's an epidemic! Here are the symptoms.

Impatience while your computer boots! "Hurry up will ya?"
Spying the check out lines to see which lane is the shortest or which clerk the fastest.
Coming up to a stoplight in a multi-lane road and pre-determining which cars ahead of you will pull out the fastest..
Got the disease? Most of us do... But listen to this.

"Be still and KNOW that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Martha, Mary has done the better thing, sitting here at my feet." Luke 10:38-42

As we move onto to Soul Care 201 our life skill is that we must slow down! We MUST! We live in a very distracted culture. I have noticed now with text messaging and internet savy phones that there may be a need for phone etiquette. When I am with a person in a conversation but they are checking their phone for a text, or checking e-mail their eyes are on their phone and their minds are not present. I can get that way with God. I may be in a quiet room alone with my Bible and journal but I am not present. Martha was in the same house with Jesus but she was preoccupied. Jesus rebuked her and said it's better to be with Him than busy/hurried doing things for Him. Doing things for Him is good as well but not as good as being with Him. We were created for relationship!

So here are some things to work on in our 201 edition;

* Learn the art of being still! Learn to slow your mind, thoughts down. Leave alone for a few minutes each day the to do list, the conversations yet to be had or the ones you have and are replaying, slow down!

* Understand that being busy and even productive can rob you of relationship with God. Granted, getting things done and checking things off so that you make time with God is good. But which comes first? It needs to be the first thing and even then don't check meeting with God off as if it were a task. Relationship is never task! God actually longs to meet with us, alone and un-interrupted, as well as throughout our day. But if we are so busy in duty and task we might miss a word He has for us, a scene He wants for us to take in, a person to help or a joy to experience...

* Jesus was never in a hurry, nor should we be. It amazes me how much coffee we drink and how many energy drinks we consume. Why? To get more done! And yet we also are spending more time on sleep aids! I just read those thoughts in John Elderdge's book "Walking with God" Is your soul refreshed or tired, dutiful or alive with anticipation of the adventure ahead?

Check out your soul and listen for hurryness. Perhaps it's time to learn to slow down in order to truly live!

Soul Care 101

We live in a society that loves/craves busyness. It's supposed to be a sign of productivity. But busyness doesn't always equal productivity, just activity. In Proverbs 4:23 we read;
"Above EVERYTHING guard your heart/soul, for out of it flows everything."

Soul care is the most important activity we should be about doing. Tending our souls. I don't hear alot of Pastors preaching about it, few books have been written though I highly recommend anything by Henri Nouwen, Eugene Peterson, John Eldredge, John Piper and Brennan Manning. How do we tend our souls? Here are some thoughts on a basic course I would teach.

1. Be still and quiet for a long time. Get the Noise out! It may take awhile.

2. Continue #1 until the 1,000 messages/voices have stopped.

3. What do you hear when you are finally "quiet"?

Here is what you might hear;

"I'm tired" then rest your body, your mind. Do this regularly so you can go longer without having to be here again!

"I'm sensing emptiness in the midst of busyness. What can I do about this?" Go to Him, confess and know that He loves you, forgives you and wants you to be Holy!

"I feel disconnected and distant from God." Draw near to God (get friendly and intimate) and He will draw near to you.

Soul Care 201 coming next!
"

Control - What You Really Need to Know!

Control is usually associated with fear, fear stands for F.alse E.vidence A.ppearing R.eal, most people tend to take control when they think an outcome will not turn out the way they want it to. Make sense? More on that for another blog though.

When I was in college (in the 70's), I competed on a Nationally ranked wrestling team. I was not very good, but I made the team every year! We had one of the best coaches in the U.S.. and I learned many life lessons from him. Let me share one.

During my Junior year I had lost 3 matches in a row which I had never done ever my whole career, and we were about to compete in a Big tournament that we had a shot at winning. Sadly I didn't place, after my second loss I left the arena and found a place where no one would find me, I lost it emotionally! Much to my surprise my coach found me, knowing I was not at a good place with my athletic career. He asked me 2 questions, the first was "what are the chances there are better wrestlers out there than you?" I said "obviously". Next he asked, "what are the chances there are worse wrestlers than you?" I responded with "I sure would like to wrestle one right now because I could use a win". Next he asked if I did everything I could to be an excellent wrestler, like practice all my moves, do the extra conditioning workouts, eat well and get rest, I said yes. He went and said, "Kevin, you have control over 2 things, your attitude and your effort, you have no control over whether there are better or worse wrestlers than you, but you do have control over your attitude and effort. Do your best, your absolute best and leave the results alone." To be honest my psyche was too wounded to grasp this life changing conversation at the moment, but later I got it.
A week or so later all 12 of us pinned our competition and it was a perfect team score, a rare feat! After arriving on campus from a long and celebration filled van ride, Coach told us to get our practice gear on and meet him in the wrestling room. He worked us to the bone for the next 45 minutes. He told us it was the worst effort he had ever witnessed from one of his teams and our attitudes were prideful and arrogant. I was a bit confused still. A week after that we lost 2 matches in one day, to the University of Illinois and Indiana State, much larger schools than ours by far, but we lost them just the same. As we got back home from a very silent van ride, he told us he was never more proud of a Taylor Wrestling team, and even the opposing coaches wanted to know how our coach got maximum effort and such great team chemistry out of his wrestlers.
It was then that I got the truth. You and I may be great at some things, but not give our best and the satisifacation in this is hollow. Or we could be terrible at other things but give max effort even though the results are not good but arrive at a place of peace knowing we did our very best. in the book of Colossians it says; "whatever you do, do as unto the Lord" The Greek word there is Arete' and it means effort worthy of God. Results and outcomes, relationships and finances may not turn out the way we want, but if we give God honoring effort and Christ-like attitude we can KNOW that's what truly matters.

Routine Maintenence

When I was a teen and I needed to fill up the car with gas, I went to a gas station and someone who worked there actually came out to my car window, asked what I needed and promptly serviced the car. They would fill it up, or put in whatever amount and type gas I wanted, wash my windshield, check the oil and other simple routine maintenence stuff. When that was done I paid and went on my way.
Routine car maintenence is a not exactly fun, but necessary, it's protection against potentially damaging repairs and all around a good thing to do. Gas stations today do not provide that service so I am left to myself to do this. I also have some routine maintenence I practice for my life and here are some of the things from my checklist.

1.Spiritually I do my best to have a fully alive relationship with God that overflows into every aspect of my life. How I treat and serve others, how I give of my time, gifts and talents and basically how I live my life for Him and not for myself. It takes time and concentration and being very intentional as well as creative in order to keep it from becoming stale.

2. Physically I try to exercise regularly, stretch, eat pretty healthy foods/drink and get an adequate amount of sleep.

3. Mentally I love to read, and grow intellectually as well as learn new skills and have stimulating conversations with others.

4.Emotionally I keep a close watch on my "joy meter", I use the tools I gained from my years in Recovery Ministry and I do my best to keep my emotional bank account high by scheduling time with the right kinds of people and doing the right kinds of fill 'er up activities. I also journal a lot and that really helps!

5. In my roles, I set monthly specific goals to keep myself motivated, making a difference and to be strategic as I live to the full each day I have here on earth.

So there you go! Simple routine maintenence, it makes a difference! What about you?

My Friend - Abba

I love people! Yep, it's true, I love them in every phase and stage - Broken and whole! I love making friends, deepening friendships and connecting. People are messy (me included) since we are all in process but that's the greatness of it all. I am not a "love 'em and leave 'em kind of person, and if you know me, you know this to be true (I pray). I am long haul all the way! I do understand there is a relational capacity where we can only "manage/maintain" closeness with so many people, but when people are a part of your passion then I believe that capacity is really large!
Last night, I was at church and I ran into a number of people. Some were truly people I "KNOW" deeply, others not so much and then I watched strangers interact. For one of my friends it was interrupted time and not quality, but it was still time spent together. You know the people where it's just good for your soul and life no matter how little or much time you have together. We wanted to spend more time together after church but she was too spent and the time that we wanted for deeper stuff just wouldn't have happend, so we put a rain check on it. I had time with another of the people I love, we had some un-interrupted time and it was good to hear his heart about things that his is passionate about that may come to fruition so this was time well spent. It was not as long as we would have liked but it was good to hear his heart! We have been hit and miss lately so it was good. Later I picked up his youngest son at the nursery, that little guy and I have a unique connection. He is too young to really communicate verbally with me but the connection has is there. I haven't seen him in a couple weeks so when I came to pick him up he had the biggest smile and a big hug for me! We both kind of gave a non-verbal "awwww"...

So here is the deal! God is creator, His is El Shaddai and mighty, He is Holy, majestic, and well.... He is God. But, and this is amazing, He calls me/us friend! Think about that for awhile will ya? When we meet together often there is this awwww thing where we are really connecting, sometimes it is interrupted (my fault entirely) and then there are times when we just don't connect. If you have gone any length of time without connecting with a dear friend and then you finally get to, well you know....awwww!! Abba loves us so much! Why don't you take time right this moment and re-connect or just connect with Him. He is especially fond of us!! James says that if we draw near to Him, He WILL draw near to us...He calls us friend! Don't let the moment pass you by, it's the best thing we have!!!!

G.P.S. and you!

My best friend just got a GPS, (Global Positioning System) that helps do everything but drive her car. She has found this tool to be both fascinating (you can find every eatery anywhere, where gas stations are with-in feet of present location, even where construction is); and hilarious (she can program different languages and male/female voices). She has decided on "Samantha" as her current voice director and they are now buddies! Samantha tells her where to go, when to turn and if she misses her turn, Samantha re-calibrates in order for my friend to still get to her destination.

You know where I am going with this don't you?

Yep, wouldn't be great if God were that involved with every detail of our lives so we would always reach our destination without getting lost along the way? Though my friend trusts in Samantha big time to get her where she is intending to go, Samantha is not fool proof, my friend still has default tools like a real map, her own eyes and of course the humility tool called "asking for directions". God is perfect and so are His ways, we get to trust God, we must choose Him in everything. Sometimes His ways are so clear (thou shall not murder, not lie, do encourage each other and build one another up...) but there are those times where not heeding His directions could be fatal, life long damaging and so on.

But we do have an internal GPS, I call it "God's Powerful Spirit" (a little tacky I know) the Holy Spirit lives in believers. He has many roles to fill, He directs, convicts, leads, indwells, brings glory to Jesus, He comforts, counsels, empowers, and allows us to do more than we can ask or imagine.
The important part here is; are we "tuned in" or un-able to hear Him at all, or worse, do we ignore Him when He directs?

I want to hear from you! Let's swap Holy Spirit stories of experiences you have had when you were truly guided by God's Powerful Spirit or when you didn't and the lessons you have learned! He is our internal GPS!!!

The Messes We Make

A couple weeks ago I helped my foxhole friend clean his garage before his wife's family invaded their house for the holidays. It was his attempt to create a more organized space for his own family and to appease his in-laws who have always seen his garage as a "death-trap." He had to take responsibility for the mess, he owns the house and the space and he is ultimately responsibile for how his family does or does not take care of that space. His kids are pretty young and so perhaps they are just not responsibile enough to do their share. Their lives are busy and maybe it's just not a huge priority.... until family come! Sometimes outside stimuli, a need for a fresh start, getting ticked off enough to act, or the fear of being exposed can incite action!

Proverbs 26:11 "As a dog returns to it's vomit, so a fool who repeats his folly."

We all have habits that are either healthy or un-healthy. Yesterday in an attempt to help someone out, due to some really bad decisions/in-decisions he is responsible for, we ended up in an even greater mess. I heard myself during the 4 hour discussion repeat nearly everything I have before to him and he just sat there seemingly un-able to connect the dots on how he gets there. I couldn't get him to understand but his mess was also effecting my life and those I love - big time!
As long as we are all in process we all have messes! Seen and un-seen, and there may be many legitmate reasons for how they got there, but in the end we are responsible for most of them. When it comes to cleaning up messes I admit I love both the process and creating systems so it can stay cleaned up, and of course I love the results! I love it! But what I don't love is not doing things differently enough so the messes keep happening....Have you been there?

"Insanity is doing the same things, the same way and expecting different results."

I believe that due to agreements we make about our lives, agreeing with other people's opinions of us, things that happen or don't happen to us, failures, in-decisions, wrong decisions, poor models, generational sins, the enemies who rage war against us (all of the above) we live in messes. Repeated messes! Many messes if not most of them we cannot clean up ourselves, especially when they involve/effect others. Out of fear we either do one of the following; we jump in and take control, hope others will jump in and rescue, or we do nothing. As I mentioned in my previous post on gravity, it takes God's strength to help us pull away! I will be taking some action, but first I am taking time to ask God to help me understand how the mess happened in the first place, what my role was, and ask for His help, His wisdom and then the faith and partnership to get it cleaned up the best it can be!

Thank God He is cleaning up my messes as I surrender my responsibility, my control and the blame I have placed on others/things! Thank God I have His word, The Spirit, other people who love me and can speak the truth into my life! Thank God - He makes all things new through His presence and power, His grace and love!

The Pull of Gravity

As you and I begin a new year, hope comes with it. Desires and prayers, dreams and hopes, but if you have lived long enough you know they can be short lived and then we just live/exist/fit in... Why is that? I have a theory, it's called gravity, yeah gravity, you know the stuff that holds us here so we don't float away, it's the stuff that holds us down. People can only get so far up without being brought back down. Some can jump higher than others (Michael Jordan, David Thompson) and if we use a trampoline it helps and is fun, or if we are lucky enough to get in an airplane we make it to 30,000 feet but it brings us back down as well.
Our lives are much like this aren't they? Our generational curses can hold us down, the limitations others may place on us, the ones we place on ourselves and then there is the enemy who does not want us to become all that God desires for us.

"The thief comes only to rob, kill and destroy, but I have come that you may have life to overflow." John 10:10.

As we face a new year and try and put together plans to break away from our past so we can have a better future, let's remember that we cannot do it ourselves. It is impossible. The author Gerald May (highly reccomend) says we cannot arrange for the life we treasure. But we sure try! Goals, resolutions etc. but for most of us trying to break away from personal gravity is so hard, it takes so much effort to break away. How do we do it then if we cannot do it on our own?

The Apostle Paul "One thing I do, I forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead. For I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength to do it" Phillipians 4.

Gravity will prevent some things, but with God nothing is impossible. My prayer and hope for 2009 is that the things that hold us down from being all that God desires for us will be destroyed. You and I cannot arrange for it, but we have a God who is stronger and limitless. Oh to have the kind of faith that God is pleased with, "for without faith it is impossible to please God" Hebrews 11. Instead of getting in line with everyone else and getting lost in the drone, take some time right now (I mean it!) and ask yourself what is it you really want to break away from, have victory over, do differently? Take it to God and like the persistent widow, wear God out on this. Make specific plans to be sure, seek out others who are excellent at this or have overcome it and learn from them. Read a book on it by all means! If it's from Him, about Him and pleases Him, be persistent, test Him on this and pull away from those things that have hindered you in the past!!! God bless you indeed!