A Paradigm Shift in True Christianity!

Question - Why are most Christians here in the United States not radically different than the many believers in other countries who are literally being imprisoned, tortured or dying because they are willing to stand up and stand out for their faith? Answer - because churches here are spending so little time helping new believers truly "get it". They are often in too big of a hurry making sure the new believer fits into their culture than helping them really fall deeply in love with God. Most mature believers have become saturated with the world and fitting into a bland form of religion. The church in the U.S. has for the longest time been far more interested in how many members or attenders they have, how many programs they provide, who has the nicest facilities, children's programs, student ministries and worship experience instead of walking a new believer by the hand to the point where transformation is taking place and knowing and living out scripture is an obvious part of their DNA. Is what churches are teaching/modeling about following God really making a difference? I don't think so, look around you and see the results of what I call the "Have to" principle and has almost always trumped the "Want to" principle. What I mean by this is we spend so little time helping new followers fall so deeply in love with God that they want to spend time with Him, reading His words, memorizing and meditating on it. Worship is alive and authentic, giving time, money and gifts are want to and not have to, and true community is something those where those on the outside looking in desperately want for themselves. Instead we communicate verbally and non-verbally that going to church services, being in a Life Group, serving and giving are the deal. THEY ARE NOT THE DEAL, but they can be a result of the true deal!

It took Jesus 3 years with 12 guys and honestly they did not get it until Jesus left and sent the Holy Spirit for them to be different. If 3 years of daily time with Jesus wasn't quite enough back then, how can we presume to think a 4 week Sermon Series on transformation, and then herding them into a Life/Small Group will do the trick?

Spending time helping believers get it requires first and foremost helping them have "right thinking" about God and authentic Biblical thinking. Often times this means "un-doing" a lot of false truth, misconceptions and have to's. This process cannot be hurried!!! How can it be? If George Gallup and George Barna are correct regarding how many people here in the States claim to be Born Again Christians and not just Protestant's than why hasn't this world and country become something other that what it is...A MESS? I declare that we must take time to help new followers get how much God loves them, all that He has done for them and all that they are in Him. If they get this, the overflow of the hearts and their minds will become transformational in how they live. Look at Acts chapter 2 and what you will find is a radically different church than what we see in 99% of churches today. People cannot be transformed through a single service or program, how many followers have been taught the great commission found in Matthew 28? I know many can recite this verse, but seriously when we are commanded to "teach everything that Jesus was and did" how many Christians know what this is? Instead we have a Biblically illiterate society, I have witnessed this everywhere I go to speak or worship. It's not because churches are not providing classes and programs, for I think it's being provided, it's just that we do not have disciplers or mentors (whatever you want to call them) taking the time to walk alongside a new follower until he or she gets it. We cannot pass go and collect $25 here, this part is critical.

Jesus taught the Seed Principle found in the Gospels (Matthew 13/Luke 8) when He told the story about 4 kinds of seeds. Only 1 in 4 produced fruit. I don't know about you but that is a horrible statistic!! I am going to begin praying and fasting for a transformational movement where all we do is help people "get it" before we ask them to go public about it, where we really walk alongside new followers while they fall in love with God, and not the do's and don't of religion and church, but a radical way of seeing God for who He really is, what He has really done and who we are in Him. Who will join me, or lead me to whom can I join to see this into reality? I know it starts with prayer as it must come first and foremost through faith in God. Believe me, God wants this, grieves over it not being here already and wants us who are secure in our faith to pass this onto others! May God ignite a new Christianity here in the States that overflows out of hearts that are fully in love with Him.

60 Years is Quite Amazing!

I am flying out of Florida tomorrow to go back to my hometown in Illinois to gather with all of my siblings, my daughters, son in law, their nephews, nieces, their kids and their grandkids to celebrate something truly amazing. My Dad and Mom married each other 60 years ago this month! That's a long time and worth celebrating!!! As with any kid growing up back then there were things I didn't like, that I suffered through, and things I wished were different about my parents and family. It's taken some years of thinking, writing and talking things out to come to a very good and accepting place about my life! And we didn't even have that much dysfunction! But growing up the 4th of 5, and with the 3 ahead me being high achievers and popular didn't make it easy for me since I was neither particularly smart, athletic or popular! I eventually caught up in many ways, but what I KNEW and could count on was that I always had the love and support of my parents and my family. My folks showed love and verbalized it too. And a part of their legacy is the reality that the 5 of us off-spring all love each other deeply, would do anything for each other and those around us, and that we are pretty close!

We are planning a fun and hopefully memorable celebration, a catered dinner, a photographer, an open house, some gifts and speeches! All of this to honor them and they deserve it!!! They have seen a lot happen in history since 1950, they raised 5 kids without microwaves and a dishwasher, we had one car for many years, one tv without a remote control, we shared rooms. There were Dr. and Dentist visits they probably could not afford, Christmas and birthday presents that made any luxuries impossible, and sacrifice was a regular part of their lives. Most of our vacations were spent visiting relatives or camping,and we didn't mind at all. I can't imagine what it was like paying for school supplies and clothes at the beginning of each school year! My Dad worked a factory job even though he truly wanted to be a history teacher, and my Mom worked mostly as a Florist. I can't imagine they had much money left over after a trip to the grocery store, but we never lacked for anything. They loved on as best they knew how, made sure we were honest and respectful and didn't swear, or we would get our mouth's washed out with Ivory soap. They came to our sporting events (well Mom didn't, she couldn't stand watching). They even put a couple of us through college even though they never went.

In just a few words - they were rock steady and always could be counted on. They remained faithful to each other even though they are two very different people. As we gather this weekend there will be 4 generations of Conklin's and a long and wonderful legacy passed on! Here's to you Don and Dorothy Conklin, congratulations on 60 years of marriage, that is quite amazing and so are you Dad and Mom!

Welcome to the Family

This past weekend my oldest daughter Brittany married Thomas Rivera up in N.E. Georgia. Of course a family wedding can be a pretty big deal, but when you are the Father of the Bride, well, it was my first! I need to admit something from the get go, I screwed up quite a bit these last 4 years while they dated. I am not saying it was all my fault, but I need to take responsibility for my actions/lack of them. I am a Father that has been pretty protective of my girls and I have prayed for my daughter's spouses since the day they were born. I prayed that their husbands would love God first and foremost, my daughters next and then take great care of them by providing for them and bringing out the best in them! I messed up because I made it nearly impossible for Thomas to reach the standards I had in my head and heart. I became a very judgmental and self-righteous person, and it spilled out in other area's of my life.

Fortunately, God and some special people in my life who have a lot of wisdom and were willing to speak the truth in love to me, helped redeem the situation. Thanks to Karyn, my Mom, Tim Popadic and Dick Walker!!! And thank you Holy Spirit for convicting me gently, and for author John Piper's writings which help steer me in the right direction. I have much to learn and a long way to go on this journey that's for sure! All that to say that in that final hour I call 11:59:59, I was able to sit with Brittany and Thomas and confess sin, seek forgiveness, walk in repentance and start fresh! Thank you Britt and Thomas for grace and forgiveness. I always wanted a son and now I have a son-in-law whom I want to get to know a lot better and do fun, masculine and spiritual things together.


I write this to express to you that no matter what you've done or not done, or what's been done to you, it's never to late for redeeming it all!! Hope is a powerful thing and I want to give you some if I can. I didn't see a way out of my mess up and knew I had pushed my daughter and Thomas away by my self-righteous behavior. But, thankfully through a teachable spirit and an incredible God, the best outcome prevailed. If there is a relationship in your life that needs healing and reconciliation, or a wrong that needs righting, or some sin that needs confessing, I just want you to know that it's never too late! God wants us to live in peace and harmony, with love and grace lavished all over each other. Swallow your pride (not easy to admit or do) and make the move toward everything God wants for you (wherever possible make your amends). The results of this are incredible!!! They lighten your load, bring freedom and allow you to have hope for a great present and future.

My family drove 2,000 miles roundtrip over the weekend to be together for this joyous occasion and we all had the time of our lives! What was also amazing was how much easier my family accepted and loved on Thomas than I ever did previously. Thomas, welcome to the family!!!

Pastor in Disguise

As most of you know I was in full time ministry as an Associate Pastor for 25 years, I was also a College Head Coach, and a High School Coach, but really I have been a Pastor most of my adult life. These last few years I have been working in the Optical Field to put food on the table. I have learned ,and it has been a great place to be light and salt way outside the walls of a local church. Most first time patients I help have no idea I have been in ministry, though through these 3 years I have many repeat patients, and there have been many wonderful conversations regarding spiritual matters. I have even preached at a local church through some patients of mine who are Elders at their church and invited me to preach. This was a very cool experience. Last week one of my patients (I think a very wealthy one as he had a driver/attendant) came into the store and wanted me to fill a couple prescriptions, as we conversed he looked at me and said, "you are so spiritual, you are like an Pastor in disguise"... It was to me a wonderful compliment in so many ways.
Truly I can't wait to get back into full time ministry (my calling from God) but what a cool thing for a stranger to pick up on what God has called me to be and sees in me!

Being Okay with not being okay!

I am a classic optimist, a hopeful, perhaps even whimsical person, which makes it fun to be with and around me! But people cannot always be happy, that's neither realistic nor authentic, for whatever reason I never found it safe to share the harder, deeper struggles of my life with others...so I didn't. People tried to get inside the more authentic me, but I was guarded and most likely out of touch with my inner self, probably because I didn't want to find something I didn't like. However one of the great "gifts" of my life has been personal tragedy, in my case it was divorce. I hate being divorced, everything associated with it for myself, my children, family and friends!!! I didn't want to be divorced (no one truly does) but some great gifts have come and because my private life was played out to many in public because I was a Pastor. The old saying that you can run but you can't hide is so true, the long and short of it is this; a 2 week counseling session 1,000 miles from home with a gifted and tender Christian counselor revealed the following;

"Kevin,you are not okay, everyone around you who loves you knows that you are not okay, so until you are okay with not being okay, you will not be okay."

What a gift, and what a revelation, but what a struggle this has been for me. As this Christmas comes and all that comes with it (gift giving, lots of miscellaneous cash spending) I find I am not so okay with not being okay. For the last couple years I have been out of full time ministry and financially it was much better paying and providing for than my current job in the Optical field. I am grateful for my job, I work with some wonderful people and I am good at my job, but financially it does not provide like I, my adult children and friends are used to. They may be okay with this, but I am not! So this Christmas I am re-visiting the truth that I need to be okay with not being okay. I always want to improve and do my best but I also need to be authentic and honest with myself and others. I am in process, God is chiseling me, re-shaping me, refining me through trial to be more like His Son Jesus. And that's not only okay, it's GREAT! Merry Christmas to all!

The Dreaded Recall

Have you ever recieved a phone call, letter or postcard informing you that something you own has been found defective and or dangerous and you need to take it somewhere to be repaired, or send the product back to recieve a replacement? It's called a recall and it's a huge drag for the company and the owner! I researched statistics regarding recalled products, cars, car parts, clothes, machines, you name it. Because the company cannot gurantee the product will perform as it should and in order to avoid huge lawsuits they have to expend unbelievable amounts of money to give true customer satisfaction. I am talking hundreds of billions of dollars! Recently I took care from start to finish a recalled Starbucks Coffee Grinder. After stopping at a couple stores I was given an 800 number to contact and I would be given further instructions. Well, this recall was so big that it required a special hotline just for this specific grinder. Starbucks had to hire people just to take care of this, and it all could been avoided had the grinder been made right the first time. I had to give them my e-mail address so they could send me a UPS printing label so I could spend my own money to ship the grinder back to Starbucks. With-in 6-8 weeks they promised they would send a new one. They did!
This somehow got me to think about God and His promises, they have never been re-called! The Bible is FULL of promises from God to His people and He has never broken one!!! Not one in all of humanity, and that is incredible! I have broken promises, and so have you, but God never does. And yet it can be so easy to trust in things (even quality companies/products), or in other people who have proved to be faithful and trustworthy, but they too will let us down. May I encourage you and remind myself at the same time that though His timing is not our timing, and His ways are higher than ours, He is totally and un-equivically trustworthy. No recalls from God and I promise!!!

Physcial vs. Inner Pain

I am one of those guys who thinks he knows how to handle pain, though I am small in stature, I can say I am pretty adept at blocking out pain in order to achieve a goal. Sports are a great way to learn pain blocking/management and wrestling is a pretty good test compared to other sports. I started wrestling in 4th grade in gym class and then it turned into intramurals and then traveling teams, all the way to District, Regional and National tournaments. I had the chance to compete in college and on our team every guy was extremely good in high school, which meant talk was cheap and there was no place to hide. We had National Champions and plenty of All Americans, I was not one of them! When times got tough some guys feigned injury in order to get a break from the intense workouts. Ocassionally I did, I am not proud of it.
There is physical pain and then the other kind (emotional/mental/spiritual), we all have endurance levels, tolerances we can hit and some we just can't get past. I am not sure what my levels are but to this point I have not wilted/quit yet! There sure have been plenty of tests, especially lately! Last night and today I hit the wall. I was angry, sad and disappointed and honestly wasn't well inside. I wasn't going to hide my pain, so with a trusted friend I shared my pain. He knew I wasn't myself and I appreciate that he lived out "weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice." Romans 12:15.
This too shall pass, but one thing I have learned and continue to do is show up and be authentic rather than mask or stuff. I was a great stuffer, and again not something I am proud of! I know I have to "get it together" and want to, but last night and today was just one of those days I would have rather dealt with phyiscal pain than the emotional/spiritual kind. I know how to do the first much better than the second. But I am getting better at the second! Progress not perfection. I want to leave you with a couple thoughts when it comes to dealing with any kind of pain.

1. Isolation is NEVER good, don't leave yourself alone - show up with a trusted friend. Perspective is one of the least expensive tools you have and it's always one of the richest if the person; Knows you well, loves you much and is willing to speak the truth in love to you. Proverbs says "wise people seek the counsel of many", it's where we get the saying two heads are better than one.

2. Be real, be honest and be really honest!

3. Don't let too much time lapse before working toward any kind of resolution or you will leave a small opening for the enemy to get in your mind/heart! Do not make agreements with yourself in your weak moments!

I will get through the pain, (the options are not good otherwise) but I will be authentic enough to share my pain! If all we ever do is share our victories with others, most will feel like failures. Most of life is made up of setbacks but most of what we tell others our only of our victories. Not a good thing! Thanks for reading!